need help on this.
Starting Your Writing
The toughest part in writing an essay is to sit down and stare at the blank sheet of paper. If you have done your planning, this is not true for you. You already know what you are going to write. Look at one of your claims.
Let’s say that claim #1 is: Cinderella was going to ruin her life by running away with some prince who had no obvious career or ability to make a living.
All you have to do is explain this claim and provide some examples. Here’s what the first claim and the first paragraph in the body of your essay might look like:
Cinderella’s mother behaved as any responsible parent should. Cinderella clearly intended to run off with the so-called prince who she knew nothing about. She demonstrated her intent by secretly attending the ball. Cinderella’s stepmother needed to protect her step-daughter from a potentially devastating mistake, at least until she could investigate the prince’s past and his intentions. Because of Cinderella’s stepmother’s concern and swift action, she quite possibly saved Cinderella from having to raise five children in trailer park without running water or cable television.
Do you see how the writer is carefully appealing to your sense of right and wrong? After all, it is only right of the step mother to look out for Cinderella’s best interests.
Assignment Written Assignment: Explain Your Claim
Take one claim from your planning and write a well-developed paragraph which explains your claim.
Use active voice by:
- Using specific subjects and strong action verbs. For example: The wolf attacked Red Ridinghood’s grandmother because he had no choice.
- Avoiding weak “BE” verbs – is, are, was, were, be, am, being, been.
- Never ever using “there is/are/was/were” or “here is/are/was/were” or “it is/was.
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Second Paragraph
Now that you have written one paragraph which backs up your claims, writing the next will be easier. Remember, you know many different persuasive techniques you can use to get your reader to see your client’s side of things. Let’s look at claim #2: Cinderella is a spoiled brat who was raised thinking she didn’t need to know how to do housework. Now let’s construct a paragraph to support this claim: Secondly, it was not long after she moved in that Cinderella’s step mother discovered that Cinderella did not have any of the skills necessary for a young woman who lived in a castle. Castles require care and upkeep, and the step mother was well aware of the costs of keeping good caretakers employed. For Cinderella to enjoy the cleanliness of her own castle, she simply had to learn basic cleaning techniques. Marble floor-scrubbing and tapestry-cleaning are skills every up-and-coming princess should learn before heading off to any prince’s castle. Cinderella’s step mother was simply doing her a favor by preparing her to step into a castle of her own. There is one element in this example paragraph that we have not examined. You will see the word “secondly” at the beginning of this paragraph. This is a transition word. It gives the reader a cue that this is the second reason you are presenting, as well as providing a link between ideas. You will want to use transition words in your writing for that purpose. Your assignment is to complete the paragraphs which support your claims. Remember, you must have at least one paragraph for each of your claims, three being the minimum. You may include more claims and supporting paragraphs than the minimum for this assignment. Written Assignment: Supporting Your Claims |
At this point, what you have finished writing is the “meat” of your essay. You have at least three points, and you have made a solid case for each of them in separate paragraphs. Hopefully, you have remembered to include a transition word at the beginning of each of the paragraphs so they will flow well.
Now, you have to write an introduction. Think about your controlling idea and your subject. Your very first sentence needs to introduce that topic and pull your audience into your essay, so they want to read more. This first sentence is called the HOOK. You can create a hook by:
- Asking a rhetorical question (just don’t answer it in the next sentence)
- Stating a startling fact or statistic
- Quoting something clever from a famous writer or personality
- Offering an amusing anecdote (brief story that makes a point)
- Saying something controversial or shocking about your subject
- Asking the the audience to “imagine . . . ” a situation related to your subject
The hook is a big idea—something that gets the reader’s attention and introduces the topic. It might be something like:
Every girl wants to be a princess.
That’s a pretty big, pretty vague statement. Does it get the reader’s attention? Sure, but it could be flashier and more interesting. For now, it works here.
Your next sentence should narrow the focus and prepare your readers for your main statement or thesis. In this case it could be:
Cinderella thought it was easy to be a princess.
We can even add a few sentences in here explaining a bit more:
She spent her days lounging in the garden and singing to the wildlife. She had no worries and certainly no realistic view of her future.
The last sentence of your introduction should be your controlling idea, or thesis statement. Remember, controlling ideas from your Letter to the Editor earlier in this course? The controlling idea of an essay is referred to as a thesis statement. You know what your thesis statement is. You just have not written it down yet. Let’s try something like this:
If it were not for the careful parenting of her step mother, Cinderella would have been ill-prepared for her life as a princess.
Or
Fortunately, her step mother cared so deeply for Cinderella’s future that she carefully prepared her for life outside of her childhood home.
Let’s look at what we’ve just written in its entirety:
Every girl wants to be a princess. Cinderella thought it was easy to be a princess. She spent her days lounging in the garden and singing to the wildlife. She had no worries and certainly no realistic view of her future. If it were not for the careful parenting of her step mother, Cinderella would have been ill-prepared for her life as a princess.
What we have here is a pretty good introduction to our persuasive essay. We have the reader’s attention and a clearly-stated controlling idea. You may see places where editing might be a good idea; but overall, this paragraph will definitely work as an introduction.
Written Assignment: Introductory Paragraph
Using the model shown, write an introductory paragraph for your essay. Keep in mind that you should start with a big idea and narrow it down to your controlling idea. Submit your introduction to the Introductory Paragraph Assignment link.
You are almost done! You have everything written except a strong ending, which seals your case. Again, this is not difficult because you already know what you want to say.
Similar to a summary, a conclusion tells your reader what they just read about. Somewhere in this paragraph you should re-state your controlling idea, or thesis statement. Most importantly, your conclusion is the finishing touch of your essay, and it should leave your audience with something to think about after they are finished reading your paper.
Your conclusion should start with your restatement of your thesis statement.
Let’s try something like this:
Fortunately, her step mother cared so deeply for Cinderella’s future that she carefully prepared her for life outside of her childhood home.
Your next sentence should broaden the focus and prepare your readers for their exit. So, we might write something like:
Even though they may be princesses, modern girls need to be aware of the dangers as well as the expectations the world has for them.
We might add a few sentences to make our point:
Castle-cleaning might not be every girl’s idea of a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon; however, practical skills like that enhance any princess’s public relations.
The last sentence of your conclusion should be similar to the first sentence of your introduction. Leave your readers something to think about.
Even a princess needs to think about her future.
OR
Just because you are a princess, doesn’t mean you’ll ever be a queen.
Let’s look at the entire conclusion we’ve just written. Keep in mind the guidelines and tips you’ve been given for writing a good conclusion.
Fortunately, her step mother cared so deeply for Cinderella’s future that she carefully prepared her for every eventuality. Even though they may be princesses, modern girls need to be aware of the dangers as well as the expectations the world has for them. Castle-cleaning might not be every girl’s idea of a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon; however, practical skills like that enhance any princess’s public relations. Just because you are a princess, doesn’t mean you’ll ever be a queen.
If you read this out loud, you’ll hear that it sounds a little choppy because the sentences don’t connect well. It needs a good editor!
Written Assignment: Editor
To practice revising for flow and transitions edit the last paragraph about Cinderella’s Stepmother. You can improve flow and untiy by:
- Adding transitions (in addition, furthermore, finally, on the other hand, nevertheless, besides, thus, therefore, however, for example, still, even though, however, similarly, likewise, including,
- Rearranging the order of the passage to make more sense.
- Rearranging the words in sentences.
- Using conjunctions to join sentences (and, also, but, or, so, for, before. after, while, when, if, then, whereas, because, since, yet, until)
Make this a better conclusion then submit it to your instructor via the Editor Assignment link.
